Chosen

This is the final part in this series of posts. Want to see how I got here? Here are the first four:
Part 1: Six Months Ago
Part 2: To Teach, or Not to Teach
Part 3: Memphis?
Part 4: Under Review

After about 40 hours after I returned home, I received a phone call from Remi letting me know that I had been chosen to be a part of the MTR program. Being there felt so right, so I was almost expecting the call. If I wasn't picked, it would have been utterly disappointing. I'm so glad I was.

This job, unlike any other position I have ever had, places me in a situation where I am forced to deal with people where their are. I need to build a relationship with a classroom of students, parents, school faculty and staff, and various members of the community. I will suddenly transform into a person sewn into the fabric of a neighborhood that directly has the ability to help influence the direction of a person's entire life. What I make of it is entirely up to me.

Being a Christian in a church setting is the easiest place for one to be. But actually demonstrating a life; living out the gospel by showing love, justice, sacrifice, grace, dignity, and power to people who might not otherwise every see or feel it is big part of what God calls us to do. It's far easier to talk about it, or even talk about doing it, than actually doing it.

I feel I've been all talk and now I've been given the chance to put it all into action.

I went to college and learned about Government & Politics. I went to seminary and got an M.A. in Religion and am on the verge of completing an M.Div. I've spent about 10 years working directly with high school and college students, and the past 2 working with integrating parents, children, and their church. Oh, and yeah, I had day jobs working getting people post-graduate credentials and in a family law office. I got married and became a parent. Each of these things once felt utterly disconnected. With MTR, all of them click together.

This summer I will begin my preparation to become a teacher in an elementary school in a low-income, urban neighborhood in Memphis, Tennessee. The teaching goes beyond the subject matter I'll be hoping my kids learn. I will seek to fill a need in their lives in addition to math, science, or reading. By hoping to be a positive male influencer in their lives, I hope to shine a light into kids lives that may currently exist only in darkness. But much larger than simply me alone, I have the opportunity to join forces with other teachers with the same Christian commitment who seek to revolutionize Memphis schools. 

This is not about talking anything religion-related to any of the kids. Backgrounds will be mixed because it is a public school, after all. Rather, it's all about actually displaying a Christ-like character to everyone we meet. And we stand in lockstep with an even larger community actively at work to transform the city's neighborhoods, healthcare, and employment. These people aren't simply doing these things in silos; they are working collaboratively. Not just because it's a nice thing to do, but it's because it is what God commands.

When the society turns their backs on entire groups of people, Christians are supposed to open their arms.

My seemingly random life in ministry suddenly makes sense.

Under Review

This post is number 4 in a series. The previous posts are below:
Part 1: Six Months Ago
Part 2: To Teach, or Not to Teach
Part 3: Memphis?

I submitted my application and didn't know what to expect. Well, I knew that I would be getting a phone interview because all applicants got one. I just didn't know if it would be more a token interview or if it would be legit. After reviewing the program, I felt that career changer types would be well embraced, as well as possibly family guys, but I just wasn't sure. This was a relatively new program so I didn't know if they'd prefer the normally less-bagged, fresh college graduate.

When I received my call at the appointed time, I was a little nervous. I was quickly put at ease a few minutes after talking to Remi, the Pre-Residency Director of the Memphis Teacher Residency program. She had some basic questions for me involving my background and my desire to be a part of the MTR. When it was my turn to ask questions, I aired all my "dirty laundry" - the fact I was married, had a two year old daughter, my slightly non-typical academic background. I just wanted to be sure that we were both on the same page moving forward, and that none of it would become ultimately limiting factors in the end.

As I waited to hear what she'd have to say, I was anxious. I was expecting to be told, "You're right. We typically don't go for people with that sort of background, but it's definitely not impossible." What actually happened was a onslaught of encouragement and examples of how people who were similar to me have been previously accepted into the program. I was so excited.

And then she told me that she thought I was a great candidate, and while others had to wait for the results of their phone interviews, I could go ahead and make plans to attend the second step of the process. This would involve going down to Memphis for their spring Selection Weekend. This was not at all how I had imagined it would go.

I prepared to go to Memphis, and one thing I had to have for the weekend was a 5-minute teaching sample that I would have to present to some of the other candidates for the Residency as well as a group of other observers. After a science project/lesson gone awry, I decided to teach my lesson on how to calculate elapsed time. I needed to print out a boarding pass for my flight down to Tennessee so I had that on my mind. I decided to use that concept as the activity for the students they'd have a real life example of how to use the lesson that I taught.

So early on March 22nd, my dad picked me up to take me to the airport. The fact it was exactly six months from the day that I left my old job that I was boarding a plane for what was possibly the new one was rather poetic. It was smooth sailing out there, and I got there a day in advance to allow an ease into the jam packed weekend. My boarding pass idea came to me on this travel day, and travelling sans computer, I came up with how I hoped things would appear, took a picture, emailed it to my wife, and she quickly turned it around.

Friday was the day I'd begin my in-person interactions with the MTR program, and after a quick stop over at FedEx Office to print out my lesson boarding passes, I met the masses of applicants, residents, graduates, and faculty. For the next two days, what I knew about the program was greatly illuminated. Actually seeing things in action truly was amazing.

I heard the heart and saw the vision that launched a bunch of ships all travelling together toward a big goal - to truly transform the city of Memphis. I felt that everything about my past and my life experience had set me up to be a part of this. There was just so many random things that I just I couldn't imagine how they might all ever fit together in anything I was going to do in my life. But suddenly they all clicked together.

I thought I did well when I actually had to teach my lesson. I mean, I didn't bungle anything and I finished what I had hope to cover within my strict time limit. I only had boarding pass activities for the students and not the observers, but shortly after everyone in our group had taught, one of my group leaders asked me if I had any extra copies for review, which I was able to provide.

I had two separate interviews, one with a staff member and one with a program graduate. I thought both went well. During my staff member interview with Lisa, the Post-Residency coach, I had a great conversation. It was unlike any other interview I had ever been on. There was something that was just so real about it. She was one of my observers during my teaching sample, and she indicated that she was so impressed with ease I had in teaching a difficult topic and my choice of a boarding pass to put the lesson into practice that she had wanted to make copies of it to share with teachers she knew who needed ideas on how to teach it.

This was truly amazing to me because it clearly was something that I believed God provided. It was a lesson that I had to come up with after what I had previously spent a full day preparing collapsed. Those who have witnessed children's stories I have done at church can testify how this sort of thing happens repeatedly in my life.

That evening, I went to an optional dinner for applicants, and I was joined at my table by David, the director of the program. We had a great conversation over our food. Over the course of the weekend, he had shared with the group so many cool things about the program and a larger, collectively shared mission for the city of Memphis that our dinner was the perfect exclamation mark that capped it all off for me.

As I drove away from the dinner, I left feeling that I had done all that I could do over the course of the weekend in all the various events to give them a sense of who I am. There was nothing I wish had gone any differently. They told us that we had to wait until Tuesday of that following week to find out if we had been selected to be a part of the program.

Up until then, I felt like I had to be picked. Not because I thought I thought I was superior to the other candidates. Rather, it was because it seemed my life had perfectly set me up for this. This was the next logical step in nearly every possible way. I had never experienced anything remotely as similar ever before. If this wasn't going to be it, then the next thing had to be so much more amazing. How that could even be, I had no idea.

All I could do was wait.

Memphis?

Previous posts in this series:
Part 1: Six Months Ago
Part 2: To Teach, or Not to Teach

Because I indicated I'd be willing to be contacted by other teaching organizations, I had signed myself up to an avalanche of spam. Well, good spam. Spam that I wanted, but couldn't really use.

Most of the emails invited students to spend their first summer after college doing something involving education. Some dealt with actual classroom instruction, others provided tools for schools to use. Opportunities were scattered in various cities across the country. The delete key became my best friend for the few weeks when I was getting a boatload of these messages. I'm not old, but I felt clearly that I was beyond that chapter of life, chronologically, emotionally, mentally, and physically that these organizations are geared towards.

I kept looking for different jobs since the teaching option was done. All that was required for me to jump into it wasn't something I felt I could do at this stage of my life. I needed a job, first of all. Adding another academic pursuit on the side seemed to be too much for my plate.

But then in the midst of the emails, I saw one that jumped out at me. It was a program called the Memphis Teaching Residency. Their description was like the many others I saw about teaching in a low-income, urban public school but this one was somehow done in a Christian context. I was confused and intrigued. I had to learn more. I felt that there had to be something else going on but I didn't know what.

I began doing some research into the program and came across this article in Christianity Today. I learned that it was a smaller part of a larger shared vision for Memphis. On multiple fronts, various organizations were seeking to improve the city in housing, healthcare, youth and education. The desire is for all residents of the city, regardless of who they are, to have their lives improved simply because a bunch of Christians live there.

In teaching, the goal is to simply be the greatest teacher a child living in poverty has ever had. There is no bringing of religion into the classroom. Just simply an individual who demonstrates strong character traits to shine a light into the lives of kids and helps turn them into people who go onto great things for the city of Memphis. This, in conjunction with all the other groups in the city, not simply working at the same time but actually working together, seeks to bring about a transformation to the city like it has never seen before in it's history.

Needless to say, I was excited. This was unlike anything I had ever heard of. And I could possibly be part of it. I decided it was worth the gamble. Tweaking resumes and writing cover letters were time consuming enough, and this was a bit more involved. I took the risk.

I went ahead and applied.

To Teach, or Not to Teach

(This is Part 2 in a series. If you haven't read the first blog post, click here.)

While searching for jobs, I began thinking about what I would like to be doing if there were no preconditions to me getting it. Becoming a high school history teacher has always been a thing for me. As I happily read through inches thick volumes (for fun) of true stories of people's lives, typically from the American Revolutionary period, I imagine to myself the excitement that most people miss because it is the ever boring subject of "history." I could be the person who changes their lives with what I have to offer.

I have absolutely zero formal training in the art of teaching. What I do have, however, is volunteer experience teaching high school and college students in a church context for more than ten years. I get teaching, I enjoy teaching. But how could I make the transition into a classroom?

I began looking for methods where one could move into a teaching job without having gone to school for it and stumbled upon an organization called, "Teach for America." Simply stated, their goal is to transform schools across the nation by training recent college graduates (from any background but demonstrate certain leadership traits) and placing them into underperforming schools.

I had found it. Leadership, non-traditional, and their big goal of combating poverty in the US. My heart for kids living in poverty suddenly became awakened in a new way with the realization of the need here in America. The significant need. It all seemed to make sense.

I decided to apply. I was already a bit older than their standard demographic. Additionally, being married and having a daughter really put me outside the norm. With their acceptance rate at below 15%, I knew it'd be an uphill battle, but this seemed to be my ticket to Colorado via a teaching job. I was confident this was it.

I had to tone down my teaching experience and my degree in religion since this was not an organization that might necessarily appreciate that sort of thing, but I balanced it quite well with my employment experience. I had to write a letter of intent which I spent several hours on and it turned out to be quite excellent. I submitted the application with great expectations.

A few weeks went by, and I received word. A typical "Thanks for your application, but...." email sat in my inbox and I was quite disappointed. I had thought this job was it. I was excited about it. But no, this was not to be. They had two checkbox opportunities for them to share my contact information with similar type organizations and faith-based ones so they could contact me with information about their opportunities. I figured I had nothing to lose at this point, but I just felt that this path wasn't the one for me. I was just enough outside the standard demographic of these types of programs, being eight years after college with a family, that I just wouldn't fit.

Back to square one. A dream job not to be.

So now what? I wondered.

Six Months Ago

Exactly six months to the day since I resigned from my job, I boarded an airplane. The road to the gate was a long one; winding through the valleys of the unknown, mountains of questions, and a seemingly never-ending plain of uncertainty.

Regret for leaving my old job was never a part of the equation because it truly was one of the best decisions of my life.

Confronted with a world that suddenly became my oyster, I had a rare opportunity to re-evaluate my life and truly consider what I wanted to be when I grew up. What did I want to spend the majority of my waking hours doing?

Initially I believed the next chapter of my life was already written and contained, among other things, a job working to improve the lives of children living in poverty around the world while living in Colorado Springs. A job in an office but now fueled by a passion to serve these kids. However, upon turning the page in the book, I did not find these words. Colorado would still be an eventual destination, but just not yet.

When discussing possible jobs with my parents, my mom reminded me of something about myself that I had long forgotten: I never wanted to work an office job. After graduating from college, it was sort of my only real option, and it's lifestyle that a significant portion of the workforce employs, so it just became a part of mine. So when looking for new jobs to apply for, I actively looked for positions that were not your standard 9 to 5.

Because of my work experience, however, working in an office environment seemed to be a necessary possibility so I applied for plenty of those as well. When all was said and done, I ended up applying for a bunch of jobs in a variety of places including an aquarium, an airline, a state park, a for-profit college, an association, and of course, the government. I even thought of becoming an exterminator. My purpose in getting any of these jobs was primarily for the money. I mean, why else do you get a job, right? And you can only survive so long while being jobless.

Like millions of others of unemployed Americans, none of these doors ended up opening all the way for me.

Part of the stress was that my employment experience, my ministry involvement, and my undergraduate and graduate degrees never together proved to be assets in any of the jobs I applied to. I try to lead a well-rounded life and it was disappointing that this didn't matter in the job-shopping department. Additionally, my heart, my mind, and my skills just never connected with any of the jobs I applied for, either. I am seemingly all over the place. That proverbial square peg living in a sea of circle holes.

Countless jobs applied to, but none being the right one. And boy is job searching grueling and draining.

What's a guy to do?

(Come back next time to hear where the story goes.)

This Week

There are exactly two (I believe) paths that my current state of existence can lead to. Both places dramatically different from where I am, but both dramatically different from one another.

If one path is taken, it results in a journey directly to a particular destination. If the other, there will be a festival period (as it were) for a time before that destination is reached.

Either situation will be extremely excellent and amazing in its own way. But each different. Both in experience and preparation.

Figuring out which of these two paths my family will be walking on will be determined this very week. As we wait. And wait. Still waiting. Nothing left for me to do. Simply waiting for that proverbial green light to appear above the road. On one road and not the other.

One week certainly isn't a long time to need to wait. But the magnitude of actually knowing what the path will be trekked upon for the next year is making the wait seem long. Really long.

Three Weeks Ago

After graduating from college, I've had exactly one job. Well, one full-time permanent sort of job. A job that gave me health insurance, dental coverage, and five paid weeks off per year (plus 10 federal holidays). The office was located right on the America's front yard, the National Mall in Washington, DC. I started my time there in August of 2004 as a temporary employee, but after several months, I was offered the opportunity to join the staff full time, which I accepted. Seven years went by, and things went well. I received promotions and job title changes. However, three weeks ago, the time had come for me to go. I didn't have to go. But I had to go.

It's sometimes strange how life works. Suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, something happens to redirect you. To refocus you. To take you a place that you really need to go. The blank pages for the next chapter have arrived, and the current section of the story is now leading up to it.

My tenure at the job ended for one reason - God told me the time had come. During previous low periods on the job it wasn't. But on the 22nd of September, it had.

I resigned.

No idea what I'll be doing next. I just knew one thing, however. It was time to say goodbye.