She's Pregnant!

Today, I had the opportunity to listen to the beating heart of my first child scheduled to make his or her arrival into the outside world on March 14, 2010.

I did not know what to expect when "listen for the heartbeat" time came during today's appointment at the doctor's office today. I imagined I would hear some static-y sounding something that the doctor (or the midwife, in our case) would say, "Can you hear it? Right there!," to which I'd reply, "Um, yeah! I think I do," when in reality I had no idea what the sound actually was, but I'd just play along so as to not appear as a complete stooge.

The realty was the sound on a large speaker projected clearly upon the four walls (and a window) of the brightly lit examination room. A loud, rapid, distinct pulsation. A tiny, beating heart caused more blood to circulate for those 10 mere seconds than it has pumped so far in its fairly young life.

Crazy. I have somehow managed to add the title "Father" to my resume.

Let me take you back about two months ago. My wife Ruth and I got married on June 14, 2009 and had the incredible opportunity to spend three weeks together in Hawaii on our honeymoon. So we go. Honeymoon. Relax. Enjoy life.

At the end of the trip, we began joking about the possibility that we'd have a "honeymoon baby." Not really conceiving it being a realistic outcome, we kind of went with it. However, upon our return from the trip, after the first week back it became apparent that we needed to take a test to see if what seemed to be happening actually was. God being up to something. The joke was on us.

So, I (yes it was I) went to Target and picked up a home pregnancy test kit (3 for the price of 2!) using none other than EPT, which promised me the greatest accuracy from the products that I briefly reviewed as I awkwardly gazed at the products in an aisle of the store that really doesn't have too many window shoppers.

It was Friday evening, and after assembling our new bed from Ikea with the assistance of people we love dearly but were hoping would leave so that we could continue with the agenda of day, Ruth went to the bathroom to take the test.

She took it, left it on the counter, and we sat together on our newly built bed awaiting the results. For those two minutes life was what it was. But at the end of the two, things had the potential to change significantly. And they certainly did.

Upon seeing the results, both Ruth and I initially came away with different reactions - Ruth in denial that the test said what it did, and me with my hand covering my mouth repeatedly yelling at the top of my lungs "OH MY GOODNESS!" We eventually came to agree that it was, despite the faintness of the plus sign on the test, that it was positive.

However, some doubt arose on Saturday morning and since we had two tests left to go, Ruth took one again just to be sure that we saw what we thought we did. But the test came out looking the same exact way that it did the previous evening.

We had a third test in the package, and Ruth really wanted to see what a negative test looked like. So after a brief discussion on how to make it happen, I volunteered to take the third test. I figured, we paid for two and got the third one for free... no money lost on this venture.

So I went to the bathroom and took a pregnancy test. I had the strong desire to update my Facebook status with "took a pregnancy test" that morning but figured it was a bit to soon for that sort of thing. During our joking about pregnancy, I expressed my annoyance at the concept of, "We're pregnant!," because it just sounds so hokey. So from the bathroom I jubilantly exclaimed to Ruth upon seeing the result... "WE are not pregnant! But YOU are!"



So there you have it. That's what the last two months have been like. Wrapping my head around the whole concept of fatherhood which seems to be a job that's way to big for me. I enjoy running around, screaming at the top of my lungs with my nieces and nephews. But parenting? Wow.

I heard my baby's heartbeat today. Big day.

So you wanna blog do you?

So. It has apparently been nearly four months since my last blog post. Much has happened in those past four months--among other things, I got married, and purchased a condo with my wife which we are currently working on making some fun updates to (more on this in a future post).

While I haven't posted, it hasn't been because I have forgotten about the blog--heavens no. It's really been much more based upon my lack of a clear idea as to what on earth I could/should post about. Just random/boring incidents from my life? A more thematic focus on some personal goals and my efforts in achieving them? Commentary on religion and/or politics? A combination of all of the above? NONE of the above?

I really need to come up with my plan because the problem is I hate wasting time. Like, spending time in ways that shows no benefit. This irritates me immensely. I really like the concept of a blog, if for no other reason, it provides a sort of written history as to my thoughts so I can laugh at myself after the fact. However, my issue is with the whole concept of having a personal online presence. Like streamlining my operation so its not like... blog, Facebook, Twitter, and whatever else is out there/comes up, but figuring out how to keep things simple(r).

So, point of story--while I previously was wanting to be more focused on the subject matter of the blog, I think I will make an attempt to not really care about that and simply write things and see what happens. Let something evolve into being, rather than design it from the start. (Oh, wait. That just seems wrong for some reason.)

So You Want to Kill the President...

This morning as I was getting ready for work, I was watching the Today Show, as I do every morning. Today was a relatively slow news day because the story that received the most coverage during the 7:00-7:22 segment involved the false report filed by a woman who really took her daughter to Disney World. Every element of the story was repeated twice, both in the setup piece and then again when Natalie Morales was interviewing a police officer involved with the case. There were many elements in that reporting piece that were annoying to have to listen to (mainly Natalie Morales' misunderstanding of what racial profiling is), but I digress.

The far more shocking story to me was the one involving Sara Jane Moore who tried to kill President Gerald Ford in 1975 but failed because an onlooker twisted her arm causing the bullet to miss. The entire story was presented as a big reveal with it being teased throughout the morning with an old woman whose identity was shielded because they didn't have lights on her. When it came time for her interview, they undimmed the light in the studio so we could see her face.

Matt Lauer's biggest shock was that she looked like somebody who could be our aunt or (dare he say) grandmother. Sara Jane felt that she needed to do the interview so that people didn't think she was a monster, but just a human being.

It was all rather odd to me. Matt Lauer was honored to meet her. She had been in jail since her attempt and was on parole. I simply cannot understand how somebody who tried to kill a president is sought to be understood under the lights of a morning news show studio. If somebody tried to kill President Obama, would we eagerly look forward to an interview many years in the future so that they can present themselves not as a monster, but as a human? So we can seek to understand them? Please.

The Goatee Saver

I stumbled upon this post on Ragamuffin Soul. For twenty bucks, if you sport a goatee (as all youth pastors do apparently... except for those who have a soul patch), this handy gadget might the be the answer to your prayers. Check it out.

Getting Married

Back in 2007, I created a list of things to do on the site 43things.com Today, as I was working to streamline my personal online presence, I remembered the site and logged in and saw the list of life goals I had made then. Most of them are things that really seem once in a lifetime, if they were to ever happen at all (i.e. Watch Maryland win a national championship in person).

I also saw that I had posted on my list, "Marry a woman with character, intelligence, personality, and beauty." Those were the things Martin Luther King had sought in a wife, and when I heard about his list, I remember thinking to myself that those characteristics would also be the verbiage of what I, too, would seek.

Finding people with a combination of some of those traits was quite easy. But all four? Never. Until, later, in that very same year I got to get to know Ruth, the person who I will be marrying in 25 days, 1 hour, 45 minutes, 52 seconds.

To all the guys out there: Such women actually do exist in the world, despite my belief that they didn't. I don't know where you might find yours, but I am so glad that I found mine.

Too Many Tweets

Recently joined Twitter, but am disappointed that so many posts disappear. This warning page makes it oh so nice.

Starting a new chapter

The past several months have been quite transformative in my life for many reasons. Reasons that I will describe in upcoming posts. It has been four months since my last post, but really much longer if you don't count posts that involved a link to some article that I happened to be reading.

I promise some quality posts. Shortly.

Republicans Happier than Democrats?

A Happiness Gap: Doomacrats And Republigrins

By David Montgomery
Washington Post Staff Writer
Friday, October 24, 2008; C01

Now the good news for Republicans: You are happier than Democrats. You always have been, and you probably always will be.

What Friends Are For

Came across this article today. It is quite awesome. Perfect timing.

Key line: I know now to take the time to consider what a friend in need really needs.

What Friends Are For
In Trying Times, Help Is Often Near (If You Just Ask)
By Melissa Hart

The week my husband ended up in the hospital with an innocuous foot infection that snowballed, my girlfriends vanished. For seven nights, I lay sleepless and scared while my pale beloved soaked up antibiotics in Room 371 and prayed he wouldn't lose his foot.

My friends knew of our predicament, but only Sarah e-mailed to ask how she could help. In retrospect, a batch of chocolate chip cookies would have been comforting; likewise a shared bottle of cabernet or an offer to walk our three dogs. But I, like many in crisis, went blank. "I have no idea," I e-mailed back.

Click here for the rest. This is the essence of Christianity.

Free Internet

Leading a life that includes an education dependent on internet access for assignment submission can be difficult if one does not have said internet access at home. Especially when one has been at the new place for more than a month.

Such is my life now that Comcast has broken its promises for an installation. I have previously blogged about my disfavor with Comcast from my old, old apartment (here and here), but silly me put economic needs over common sense and elected to go with Comcast.

I have been able to get online from home on occasion using a unsecured wireless network from a neighbor when I'm sitting out on the deck (thank you, whoever you are) but that can be spotty at times. When I first moved, it was still warm out, but now, sitting outside trying to get free internet requires protective garments.

So, right now, and tomorrow, and Wednesday, and every Sunday for the past several weeks, I have made my home Panera Bread. They have free internet, comfy tables, and sandwiches, soups, and salads that are quite good. Oh, and they have lemonade. And an awesome chocolate brownie.

Supposedly Comcast will be visiting on Wednesday to hook up internet and cable. I am hopeful that the third time will be the charm. But I also know with whom I am dealing.

My calendar for Sunday is cleared for a pleasant afternoon lunch at Panera Bread. With free internet access.

Welcome to Fall

To welcome the fall, I have turned over a leaf and discovered my blog. It somehow got hidden. Now that it has been rediscovered, a new flurry of blogging will commence. That's until another object falls on top of it.

Oh bomb McCain!

There is talk of Tim Kaine being picked as Barack Obama's choice for vice president. When you put their names together you get: Obama-Kaine.

If you ask what the democrats are going to try to do to the republicans in November, you get: Oh! Bomb McCain!

Get it?! GET it?!

There here post I say is the first post on the face of the planet taking note of this double entendre of a name.

Who Is In Control?

From a blog I stumbled upon today. Great post.

Have you ever noticed how, when a person is looking for a house, driving slowly down a darkened street straining to see the numbers on the fronts of the homes or on the mailboxes at the end of the driveways, he automatically turns down the car radio? He does so because he instinctively knows that music or voices can be a distraction. A person cannot focus as well on the task at-hand when there is noise in the background. Noise is a distraction.

I’ve often found that when I am writing, and especially writing something that requires deep thought and consistent logic, I need to remove background distractions, whether that means I turn down the music playing from my computer or close the door to my office.... click here for the rest

Change Your Clothes

One thing that I've been doing recently is changing my clothes after work. I don't really dress up for work - it's business casual so I wear khakis, some cords, or other pants in that family of clothing, and usually a button down shirt or a polo. These clothes aren't uncomfortable really... I don't spend my entire day thinking of how much they are irritating me having them on. (Shoes, though, are another matter.)

Usually when I get home, I feel pretty tired from the 8.5 hours spent at work, bookended by almost an hour and a half commuting each way. DC area traffic is grand.

I'm usually pretty exhausted when I arrive back at my apartment, and whenever I have somewhere to be in the evening, I usually make home a pitstop before I take the tiredness with me to the rest of my day.

But all of this has changed.

Yes, I still work my "9-5" and I still have a job that costs me 11.5 hours per day, but now when I get home during my pitstop before the rest of my day, I change my clothes.

This has changed everything.

I'm not a psychologist nor do I claim to be. Well, maybe sometimes I do. But regardless, I think that changing your clothes has a major impact on your brain. Because now, when I go out with my fiancée, make a trip out to the store, or go to a Bible study, I feel suddenly revived, and it feels like I am starting the evening with a fresh bank of energy. The day feels like a new day. I feel like I can forget that I had even gone to work that day, and that my day has been one of leisure.

No, I don't think I am alone in this. And yes, I have a spiritual application from this seemingly random concept.

In Colossians 3, Paul starts asking them to put to death all sorts of things that compose their earthly nature such as sexual immorality, greed, anger, slander, and filthy language. But he goes on to use the image of changing one's clothes. He writes, as recorded in verse 12, "Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience."

This new life that we have in Christ is one that is like putting on some new clothes for the fun part of your day - the good life. Because we want to live a holy life, we need to remove the bad stuff (work clothes) and put on (because they won't get put on by themselves) the good stuff.

Going to Atlanta

I am headed to Atlanta this weekend with CLiC for the Passion Conference. "But Ryan, you live near DC! Why didn't you and the group go to the conference when it was actually close to you?" is a possible question that you may be asking.

Here is the answer: Groupishness.

The lack of that in our newly developing group was evident so something needed to be done.

Being trapped in a 15 passenger van with some of your soon-to-be closer friends for hours on end can do wonders. Eating, living, praying, driving, worshiping, asking, sleeping, breathing, and jumping together for 4 days and 3 nights can help.

Can't wait.

April Fools

Tomorrow, Gmail will have a "Custom Time" feature as their annual April Fool's Joke. No, I do not work for Google, yet I am privy to this information. I am breaking this news, so enjoy it.

Actually, it was broken by a broken link on my Gmail page, and already talked about on 1,600 pages on a Google search.

But yeah, YOU heard it here first.

You're welcome.

I'm Sorry

Dear Blog,

I am sorry. I have neglected you for over a month. I've been busy....well, that's not entirely true. I had a week off from school and work that I thoroughly enjoyed. However, you were not thought of during that period, either.

It's not you. It's me.

The motivation and drive to provide something blogworthy in a sea of blogs is tough. There are so many amazing blogs out there, by people who actually have a "claim to fame" as it were. Authors, musicians, journalists... My traffic is driven by quite sad things, such as the antics of a local news anchor that I wrote about years (years!) ago.

Exciting things HAVE been happening in life. However, the whole factoring you into it is just a foreign concept to me right now. I'm glad that you have been there for me, having a place for me to document things through time so you will NEVER be deleted. I can promise you that. However, viewing life extraneously and sharing it with the masses... rather, making it available to the masses, is something that I need to figure out.

You are not about American Idol. People can get much better commentary elsewhere. Nor are you supposed to be about politics. There are enough blogs and articles about that, too. You are supposed to be about figuring out what the Christian church is supposed to be and the journey to get there.

It just seems that being on an uncharted course is a difficult place to write from. I know it can be done. I know it has been done. But I just don't know how to do it.

For this I am sorry because I feel the potential in it is quite great. I'll figure it out.

Til next time,

Ryan

Happy Together

On a whole, the girls were far better than than the guys, once again. However, I didn't really have a clear stand out. That said, my favorite performer was Brooke White, the girl with the really curly blond hair who, coincidentally sang "Happy Together" which my favorite male sang this week.

Other than her, Amanda Overmeyer didn't live up to the hype that I had placed on her, but she wasn't bad at all.

Kady Malloy really reminded me of Shannon from "Lost."

Syesha Mercado (poofy hair) was exciting, borderline over the top for me though.

Alexandréa Lushington (peace earing)... didn't really understand the praise from Randy and Paula. She CLEARLY wasn't strong when she left her normal singing voice range. Annoyingly weak. Sounded like a young Whitney Houston at parts.

Ramiele Malubay really has a nice big voice, though I don't know if she could be a successful American Idol winner.

Alaina Whitaker (Carrie Underwood clone) was decent though I don't know how I feel about clones.

Out of time, but the Britney Spears impersonator seems like she could be good.

We'll see who goes home tonight. Hopefully not my fave girl or guy.

American Idol (Guys)

Wow, its amazing what can happen in a matter of days in the world of politics. I have been abstaining politics for more than a week now simply because I got overwhelmed by the 2008 presidential election and am ready for it to be over. The whole thing. And I majored in government in college.

Anyway, something far more enjoyable that involves "America" and "voting" is our collective guilty pleasure, American Idol. As a loyal watcher of the show (with the exception of season 2 which I had banned because Tamyra Gray got voted off season 1... yes, I do that...) I will provide regular commentary on this here blog, but hopefully only as a side note. Note. Get it? Ok.

Based on last night's show, I can say that I am honestly disappointed because NOBODY really stuck out as all that good. I only start watching after the auditions so don't have their history on the show to judge them on. So based on my one shot view of them last night, here are my thoughts (with the Fox website open so I can remember their names):

David Cook (wore that skinny tie, sang "Happy Together") - The only person who I listened to that I can see liking. Wasn't the most amazing performance but I liked his vocal quality.

David Archuleta (the 17 year old) - Wow. How 17. How 13, actually. Really was very bubbly you couldn't help but say, "Awwwwww."

Robbie Carrico (the guy who always wears a hat) - Please stop being such a poser.

Chikezie (the guy with the colorful suit) - Top 24 first song and already you have an ego problem. Ready for you to leave. A real "soul" singer would be preferred to this quota filler.

Danny Noriegoa (the guy with many "colors" as described by Paula) - His whole "sassy girl" production was just really annoying.

Jason Castro (guitar and dreads) - Nice to have somebody play an instrument on this show which is a staple on the actual talent based music shows (see: Rock Star, Nashville Star) but really didn't hit me as anything beyond I'd hear at like a county fair.

Michael Johns (the guy with the accent) - First thing I thought was "Tom Brady." I know he is supposed to be good, based on his show closing number, but I just wasn't into it at all.

THE REST - No comments.

The girls are usually better (bias noted) so I am hoping for them to salvage this possible wreck of a season tonight. Based on their visuals though, it seems like they have their "Mandisa" and "Carrie Underwood" slots filled. Having not heard her sing AT ALL, I am hoping that Amanda Overmyer's look isn't just for show and that she has the type of voice I totally dig.

The Maryland Primary

I will be voting for Mike Huckabee today for whatever it's worth.